Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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