There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
