Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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