Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
