He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
