I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
