So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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