I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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