Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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