Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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