So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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