How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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