Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
