He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
