just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
