i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
