I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
