That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
