Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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