I just made out with a guy for $7.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
