Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
