please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
