I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
