dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she told me i tasted like america
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
