It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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