i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
