I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
