i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i drank out of a bidet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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