Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
