It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
