why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
