Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
