Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
