Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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