Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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