But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
