is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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