Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
