Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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