you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
