i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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