I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
