Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
