He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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