Dual....:-)
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
