Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
