im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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