I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
