How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
