get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
