he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
