I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
