is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
